i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize