don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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