Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
