Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
no you cant smoke seaweed
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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