So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
the gays at disneyland are vicious
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
