I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
