Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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