Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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