Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
