Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
