i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
