fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
