You really coming over, don't trick.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Well I just put wine in my tea
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
