We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
