Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
