i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
