too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize