Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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