new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
