dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
