Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
