I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
