im about as happy as oj after his trial
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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