I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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