there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
you never un-have a 4some
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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