i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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