No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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