quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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