I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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