I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
