belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
