no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
