If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
