dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
