dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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