yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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