Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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