Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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