piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
