Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
