She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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