Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
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