I want to stick my p in your. b.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
