JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Acid is not a monday night drug
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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