Midget sex pt 2 tonight
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
