I wish I could punch you in the face.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
