ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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