Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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