You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
