the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
