ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
