the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
