Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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