There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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