So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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