i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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