She's JV to your varsity
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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