he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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