Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
