he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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