real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
