I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
